


Authenticity

by orphan_account



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Introspection, M/M, naoto is not referred to by any pronouns for any hc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:07:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26263159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Yu has many different personalities to suit the person he's talking to, and perhaps that's another aspect of being a wildcard. But who is he really?
Relationships: Hanamura Yosuke/Narukami Yu, Hanamura Yosuke/Persona 4 Protagonist, Hanamura Yosuke/Seta Souji
Comments: 5
Kudos: 75





	Authenticity

**Author's Note:**

> I was playing New Game Plus and using a guide for the options to get it done quickly. I noticed that the optimal thing to say would sometimes contradict between characters, as well as how Yu talks. I also noticed that Yu and Yosuke have a lot of alone moments (both in anime and in game) which makes me think they would be more authentic with each other in the end. Anyways- this was the product. What happens when Yu's many masks catch up to him?

An electronic chirp in the crisp Inaba morning. A layer of dust on a model. A sheet of gray impeding a view, whether this is from the oppressive fog or his hair, he has no idea. 

This contextualizes the mornings of one Yu Narukami. Slow, sleepy, and a little dangerous. The average 17 year old usually does not have to worry about fighting the inner demons of other targeted children, but on good days, Narukami thinks he wears it quite well. He physically couldn’t ignore the whispers that followed him in the halls, and sometimes when his own vanity gets the better of him, he shares a private smile with himself. 

He pulls on his usual layers of clothing, trying to fight the biting October cold. It would look ridiculous on anyone else, making them into a waddling shadow of a person, but the general consensus is that it suits Yu. If one doesn't pay attention to how much fabric gathers at his neck, if one ignores the bags framing his eyes, if one skips over the lines deepening by the day on his face— Yu looks perfect. The boy in question (or man? he doesn’t know yet) does notice however, and it makes him deflate slightly. Maybe it’s a reflection of all the work he does, both credited and uncredited. The effects of orchestrating perfect friendships and harrowing days at the same time have not been formally researched, but Yu could hazard a guess and blame that for his premature aging.

And speaking of perfect friendships— 

Yu checks the cause of his phone’s chirping. It’s Yosuke, asking for a meeting by the Samegawa. Surprisingly, the message is free of Yosuke’s acronyms and exclamation marks, instead an all lowercase “Can we meet by the river at 4?” Yu already feels his heart fill up his chest, obstructing his breathing just for a second. That’s not anything unusual; he can feel when his power is about to grow. But this time it lingers, catching him off guard. It constricts, too tight, and then leaves in a shaky breath. 

“Yeah of course. See you then,” he sends. Gathering his things, he heads out to the school, slowing down his pace every once and a while to listen to the usual frantic whispers, growing more and more manic as the case remains unsolved. Maybe they’ll be happy today, as the team rescued Naoto just a couple days ago. Maybe they’ll be anxious, maybe someone else will figure out the pattern, maybe, maybe, maybe… 

He snaps back into reality, having not heard a single conversation. But no matter, most of it is repetitive anyway. Yu walks into the classroom coolly, as usual, but finds himself confronted by a pair of brown eyes, catching him off guard. 

“Hello Narukami,” Yosuke says, measured and with thinly veiled disdain. The absence of partner hits Yu harder than expected. He may not call Yosuke that often but that does not mean he did not hold the other in the same regard. Yosuke immediately looks down at his folders, but not with shame. He was radiating scorn. Yu sits in front of Yosuke, as per usual, but can’t shake the feeling of eyes boring into him.  
4pm could not come fast enough it seems.

———————————— 

The clouds stayed, even after noon, but the fog lifted. Yu could feel the school heave a collective sigh at the change, but he was the only one who held his breath. Well, he and one other. Yosuke was doing one of his little routines again— skipping through his songs for no reason, tapping his foot, licking his top lip with tongue over and over. He’s using up all of the energy in the gray classroom, and all of the faces of the room slowly go out of focus until it’s just him in Yu’s frame of vision. It’s only 2pm, but Yu finds his feet wandering over there, head slightly dipped uncharacteristically. His hands, usually stuffed in his pockets, were wringing together. He wasn’t in control here. 

“Hey, do you want to talk early? Are you alright?” Yu said, voice rising an octave and dipping back down. The sentence sounded fragmented, as if two forces were using him as their vessel with one goal. Yosuke finally looked at him in the eye, and he stilled for once. Yu took this second to really, truly look at him for what felt like the first time. Black dots littered Yosuke’s cheeks and his eyebrows looked browner than usual.

“I have a shift. Usually it would be two today but I… moved things around,” Yosuke replied, terse. His hand came up to his face, obscuring his mouth, but it was no use. Yu could see the apprehension in his eyes, the one that was so familiar and yet unique to only Yosuke. It reminded him of that day, with the smell of clean sweat in the air, and the comfort only a pair of arms around his shoulders could bring. 

It was not supposed to be like this. He knows he’s the one that makes others nervous, that turns them down when they want to meet, but it never occurred to him until now why that is. Who is he to demand that of others? To tame the monsters that developed in his psyche, pleading “I am in your care?” And as Yosuke’s form retreated, Yu developed a feeling that he knew what was to come. He waited a few minutes for Yosuke, and strode out of the classroom.

Immediately, he was bombarded. A girl needed to confess, and she yelled at him for opening her letter. Kou and Daisuke said their hellos, problems resolved, but Yumi came up to him and told him off for not going to the drama club for a month. Downstairs wasn’t much better, with Yukiko insisting on a walk (No time! Sorry...) and Kanji shyly showing him a bunny he didn’t have the bandwidth to appreciate. Naoto still looked green in the face, and Chie asked to borrow some money to take Yukiko out. Rise noticed his discomfort, and instead of hanging off his arm like always, actually pointed out his state to the group. All looked apologetic, but Yu couldn’t even appreciate their empathy because the space where Yosuke always stands waiting for him looked too empty. He turned his gaze back to the group, and felt a prickle start up in his eyes. 

He didn’t even know what to say to them. All of his friends, treasured individually, were so different. He was a different person with each of them, always careful in what he says. Sometimes he wishes Rise wouldn’t take a hug the wrong way, or that Kanji would not get upset at some things. But those desires won’t help the team in the long run, and he finds himself not knowing which facet of his personality to have right now. Reassurance, yes that’s what they want—

“Yu! I’m taking you out right now!” a scream resonated, piercing. It was Rise, pointing at him with a sense of finality. Her other hand was on her hip, and her chest was puffed out. Immediately, the rest of the group parted, and Yu supposed he had no choice. 

He had an hour to kill after all. 

———————————— 

Rise brought him to her family’s shop, in the dining area. It was the middle of the day, so there was no one around. The privacy was comforting, but it did little to assuage Yu as Rise put a glass of orange liquid on the table with force. Her glossed lips were in a pout, and her eyebrows pinched together, cartoonishly so. She seemed to bristle as she opened her mouth.

“What happened between you and Yosuke?” she said. 

“Nothing. He wants to talk to me later today, probably about some personal things,” Yu replied. It stung, saying that aloud. That summarized everyone Yu’s met since coming to Inaba.

Rise, to her credit, didn’t look convinced. “Let me cut to the chase here. Yosuke is friends with everyone in our team, but he has this… attachment to you. He probably hasn’t realized it, but it’s there. So you have to fix whatever it is you did or I don’t think he’s going to be able to fight the next time the killer strikes.” 

Yu felt his face turning into a scowl. He considered himself to be quite observant, so it was obvious how much conjecture Rise was spouting, trying to guilt him into bending every which way for the team once more. “Ok, I’ll try my best. I don’t think he particularly cares about me though. He talks about you all the time.” 

Rise arched a sculpted brow. She grabbed the drink she placed for him and chugged it down. Slamming the finished glass on the table with finality, she smirked. “Get glasses.” 

———————————— 

And finally it was time. Yu’s head was in the clouds, wondering about drastically different situations. Who would be the blushing bride? Who would get cold feet? Who would be a prince? Quite unusual thoughts to be entertaining when you are about to have a serious chat with your best friend, but Yu supposed this day would be far from normal with or without his daydreaming. 

Yosuke was standing at the end of the river, getting his toes wet. He didn’t fidget like he did earlier that day, and instead he exuded measured confidence. Another thing that was far from normal, and it drew Yu towards him slowly. Yosuke could probably hear his footsteps, but didn’t turn around. Yu stood right next to him, at the water’s edge, and tapped him on the shoulder. If his hand lingered longer than necessary, neither mentioned it. 

“Are you ready to talk now?” Yu said, jaw set. 

“Yeah,” said Yosuke simply. He turned to face Yu with his cold gaze for a third time that day. Yu was determined to make it the last— he has stared down the manifestation of countless insecurities, countless secrets, and yet the straw that broke the camel’s back was breaking his friend’s trust. Finally, Yosuke sighs. “I know what you do.” 

Yu is stunned. “Do what, exactly?” 

Apparently, it was possible for Yosuke to become even more cross. “I know you act differently around other people. To become closer to them or something… for the team.”

And for the first time in his whole life, Yu Narukami gives up. “Yeah.”

“It’s just- I don’t know who you are. I noticed because after Chie told me you helped her fight those guys you got a giant muscle man with the Chariot arcana. And then when you talked to Yukiko about her interview she got stronger, and you even did that with me!” he yells, eyes scrunched up closed, as if he can’t bear to look at Yu.

“I just did what I thought was necessary. Are you saying that I didn’t make you happy?” Yu replies, voice soft and resigned. 

“No partner, it's not that I wasn’t happy at that moment. But now, thinking about it, I don’t even know who you are. How much shit have you told me because you knew it would make me feel better? How many times have you coddled me even though you haven’t cared? And it hurts because I-” Yosuke was shaking now, voice breaking. Yu stepped closer, but Yosuke stumbled 2 steps back, making little ripples in the water. Their socks were going to be soaked. 

“I don’t understand what else I can do for you. I just wanted you to become stronger,” Yu says, but he knows he’s just lied. Maybe the feeling of Yosuke leaning on him, and him only, for support made him giddy. Maybe that’s not something you think about when you’re talking to your best friend who has been trapped in mourning for far too long. 

“Who am I even talking to right now? What mask have you put on for this situation?” Yosuke exclaimed, voice rising once more. 

“I- I’m not…” Yu suddenly feels like a duckling, just learning how to walk. Exposed, and afraid.

“It hurts so bad because… I like you! I guess I’ve backed myself into a corner by saying that, but don’t go! Please, I just want to know you for who you actually are. I li- I love who you actually are.” Yosuke is blushing fiercely, the red of his face obscuring the tears still flowing down. Yu recalls countless days, just Yosuke, Nanako, and himself in those summer evenings. How Yosuke would always bring pudding for Nanako, how he’d always say that he’ll come take her to Junes soon. He remembers the hill atop the festival, and Yosuke’s coy smile as he tells Yu that he wishes for good luck. A whispered thanks after a problem and a squeeze on the shoulder. A pair of clanky headphones playing something cheesy, old, and American. In a million ways, he might have been becoming more authentic with Yosuke than he intended to. 

So, as Yu rests his head against Yosuke’s shoulder, with tears streaming down his own face, he can respond with authenticity and warmth, “I like the real you too.”

———————————— 

Being himself was more of a shock to the rest of the team than it was to Nanako and Dojima, who he supposes have been his home since the first day he came. Kanji’s eyes bugged out looking at his and Yosuke’s entangled hands, and Rise squealed and hugged them both. Chie and Yukiko announced similar news of their own, and dates were planned. The mood was infectious, even Rise being so bold as to ask Naoto to accompany her after their hangout.

It didn’t stop there. Yu slowly felt himself unwind, sometimes never following up on requests for obscure statues, and telling the truth to his friends. Sometimes he was quite blunt, and other times that bluntness was needed. Sometimes he was too kind when he needed to be authoritative. Sometimes, he rejected one too many movie requests on account of exhaustion. He certainly needs practice, but when he sees Yosuke’s eyes light up when he tells him (truthfully) that he looks wonderful today, he muses that it was truly worth it, in the end.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this. This is only my second work - so if you find any typos or have any suggestions, please comment. Thank you!


End file.
